Category Archives: Autism Spectrum

Asperger, Autism Spectrum, be different, Aspie

#354: Does it spark joy? Owning (un)necessary things

I have the item in Standard today ( https://www.derstandard.at/story/2000132723089/besitzen-wir-wirklich-10-000-dinge) read and not only, that the article immediately got me evaluating and thinking, what possession means or what number probably a “right one” would – especially in times of sustainability compared to obsolescence – a few of the comments made me smile.

One of these was about the estate and staying in the attic of memories. Each piece may or may not have a story and may just be something that man or woman shakes their head at.

2020 I first sorted and then cleared our parents' apartment with my brother and our father was a perfectionist, when it came to owning. To the “unhappiness” of descendants he has lived his perfection in things that are not valuable, for this are both my brother and I and the subsequent brood with multiple Maktias, AEGs etc tool utensils (grind, welding, drilling – multiple, …) fitted. There were also several other very useful things, for example,. 9 Bialettis in all possible sizes with 100th sealing rings, Radios (several world receivers), Battery chargers, batteries, labeling machines, Loading full printer cartridges etc etc. All labeled and packed in their own boxes.

Why he had so many printer cartridges and paper, then we found out. There was a box with lots of Bene folders, which were neatly labeled with documents, Bills and then there were rows without labels and when I opened the first folder back then, I closed it again and tried to get an overview, how many such folders it was probably here. Several folders full of erotic pictures – almost naked women, who always wanted to show off their sexual characteristics in the foreground – but nothing naughty. Because you are not alone in this experience “enjoy” wanted, I've been waiting for my brother, so that he too could have this aha experience (of course without warning). Each image was neatly printed out and placed in a high-quality, thick transparent sleeve. Our claim to separate sustainably and act ecologically was actually put to the test here for the first time.

But there was also “nutzvolle” things (depending on your point of view), such as bandages and several diabetes machines with repackaged needles , that were a hit at a men's hostel. My father also had several bottles of 750 ml Parfum Brut Brut Black, because he remembered during his hospital days, that back then (60is / 70s) the perfume very much “inn” was and it was time, after my mother died, to make yourself attractive to women. My subtle hint back then, that a full set of teeth (during his stay one lost his lower denture) might make more sense, he smashed. He mean, that I was already superficial and it was about the inner values.

My father had so many things, especially in all possible variations and mostly repackaged and not used. I thought so too at the time, I don't want to do that to my kids – well I don't have any porn pictures anyway – but in the flashback we had the chance to confront our father with him and his way of owning and caring for things (I'll have a shoe shine kit for the rest of my life). At least it helped me in retrospect, but joy never saved it.

#345: Zombie Apocalypse or cabin fever part 3

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I'm writing for my life, namely not only like, but also for money and in times like these, it is less. Much less, Thanks be to God – with a thank you in this direction in times like these rather assigned Liebesmüh are – there are still a few small and fine jobs. But my junior looks at me and is now my main quest givers.

At our school there are a kind of free work and I admit, that my 16 year-old pubescent daughter can be quite handle it well. Except for a few steps out of the dark room, I do not see it so hard to. Today I have asked them to please let natural light in her room, the work then easier, it then has the blind but in fact 20 cm rolled up. In short, I was afraid, that it begins to smoke or turns to dust.

The expectation, but that work with a free 10 year's work, even if he already quasi 1 x has made, may be high among teachers and teachers, but is an illusion. We still make a daily to-do list.

I arrived in my personal hell.

And then the guidelines are working on a daily basis. I tell him, that too, if it looks like the beginning of a lot, it is not yet sooooo dramatically then. We spend almost every day at least 30 to discuss so minutes, whether he should not do it now. The creative things, how to make videos or tinkering, he could always make. ONLY there are not only creative videos, but constructions, Essays and sketches.

Speaking sketches! last week I was already warned my friend P, that if he has to draw, I should simply look away. to seize the urge the child the pencil from his hand, is almost self-destructive. The Jr has had to make a sketch to Van Gogh's Sonnenblummen on Saturday. The good thing is, that he saw in London this, the bad is, that a long time ago. The good thing is, I took Ps warning to heart, the bad is, I have not quite made it and had not torn his pencil from his hand, but the sheet and give it a new laid.

What's also good news. He writes sensational emails with his English professor. And I mean really really. And he does it gladly and willingly and without complaint. Maybe it's because, that he is allowed to write, that he is super Marvel and what film characters are his heroes. But I do not matter.

#330: small steps and giant leaps,,de,I have no neuro-typical child,,de,that is the technical term for this,,de,that the Jr just works differently,,de,than just typical childhood,,de,And that means,,de,that we are moving forward in very small steps,,de,what social skills and learning these concerns,,de,And actually there are no small steps,,de,But as a parent with a non-neuro-typical child is to just be careful,,de,is afraid to look forward too,,de,to be optimistic,,de,but maybe that'm just me,,de,because I have my experience and we are working hard,,de,that the junior find his place in life and in society,,de,which makes him especially happy,,de,And last week was at one time the whole success,,de,all the work at once seemingly away,,de

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Ich habe kein neuro-typisches Kind, dass ist der fachliche Ausdruck dafür, dass der Jr eben anders tickt, als eben typische Kinder. Und das bedeutet, dass wir uns in sehr kleinen Schritten vorwärts bewegen, was soziale Kompetenzen und das Erlernen dieser betrifft. Und eigentlich sind es gar keinen kleinen Schritte, aber als Elternteil mit einem nicht neuro-typischen Kind ist man einfach vorsichtig, hat Angst davor sich zu sehr zu freuen, zu optimistisch zu sein, aber vielleicht bin das auch nur ich. Ich, weil ich meine Erfahrungen habe und wir hart daran arbeiten, dass der Junior seinen Platz im Leben und in der Gesellschaft findet, der ihn vor allem glücklich macht.

Und letzte Woche war auf einmal der ganze Erfolg, die ganze Arbeit mit einem Mal scheinbar weg. It also does not matter,,de,what's happened,,de,but to have failed this powerlessness,,de,lost to feel and I just cried,,de,Whoever claims,,de,Clean that tears the soul,,de,So for me it was definitely not as,,de,But do not worry, this contribution is not Despair All-Terrible-Post,,de,and that is not just because,,de,that anyway have all was not half bad,,de,but it,,de,that especially my not neuro-typical child has sensed my distress,,de,that he has outgrown itself and took my hand,,de,to show me,,de,that we'll be fine,,de,And talked to therapists of his small autistic group yesterday when I,,de,they told me about it,,de,that the boy O,,de,the well motor has its difficulties,,de, was passiert ist, sondern diese Ohnmacht versagt zu haben, sich verloren zu fühlen und ich habe einfach nur geweint. Wer auch immer behauptet, dass Tränen die Seele reinigen, also bei mir war es definitiv nicht so.

Aber keine Sorge dieser Beitrag wird kein Verzweiflungs-Alles-Furchtbar-Beitrag, und das liegt nicht nur daran, dass eigentlich eh alles nur halb so schlimm war, sondern daran, dass vor allem mein nicht neuro-typisches Kind meine Not gespürt hat, dass er über sich hinausgewachsen ist und meine Hand genommen hat, um mir zu zeigen, dass wir das schon schaffen.
Und gestern als ich mit den Therapeutinnen seiner kleinen Autistengruppe gesprochen haben, erzählten sie mir davon, dass der Bub O, der auch motorisch seine Schwierigkeiten hat, has been very difficult to do when you get up,,de,But no one wanted to say something,,de,While the other children enjoyed their picnic,,de,my child has observed,,de,O how uncertain was,,de,He stood up,,de,held out his hand and accompanied him a part of the way and let go of his hand,,de,when he noticed,,de,that he now made it alone,,de,Both therapists were moved,,de,and I believe,,de,we all had three tears in his eyes,,de,He is a Jackpot said the A,,de,of showing them,,de,why they love to do their job,,de,He's my Jackpot and everything else we will learn,,de,because not only will have to understand the language of our society,,de,but I also,,de,that my world too often sees small steps,,de,than the giant leaps,,de,we all make,,de,on hold,,de,Once upon a company,,de, aber niemanden etwas sagen wollte. Während die anderen Kinder ihr Picknick genossen, hat mein Kind beobachtet, wie unsicher O war. Er stand auf, hielt ihm die Hand hin und begleitete ihn einen Stück des Weges und ließ seine Hand los, als er merkte, dass er es jetzt alleine schafften. Beide Therapeutinnen waren gerührt, und ich glaube, wir hatten alle drei Tränen in den Augen. Er ist ein Jackpot sagte die Eine, der der ihnen zeigt, warum sie ihre Arbeit so gerne machen.

Er ist auch mein Jackpot und alles andere werden wir lernen, weil nicht nur Er die Sprache unserer Gesellschaft lernen muss, sondern auch ich, dass meine Welt viel zu oft kleine Schritte sieht, als die Riesensprünge, die wir alle leisten.

#324: felt, one step forward and two steps back

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I read somewhere once, that one can be happy about, if your child “otherwise” is, and I know how many times you heard, I can be happy about it, that the child his “Austicker” in its entire force “just” I give my.

Logically seen and thought rationally, can I register these statements naturally agree, and yet I am just now even more than just the pure mind. Then I'm just sad and angry at the same, feel hopeless and see back only the steps and not the, what we have already achieved. And I say we deliberately, Of course, it is the child, that learns and strives and struggles through our social norms. But there we are parents, that accompany it, give him this unconditional love, so child can be just child.

This force applied, To take the next step again, to consider new steps or, because it is like that, that laws need not be linear. Yesterday as was a step back and the only, because my Junior refused to be cut nails. Sunday is always a bad moment and we know, but because it is the first time went to a scout camp, he did not feel before this unpleasant feeling of short nails. Thus, everything was different, otherwise in its processes, otherwise in its frame.

Many counselors find, that it does not make sense, to discuss the escalating again. That's true in our case definitely not. It's not even about, warm something or to push blame, but rather to find logical conclusions, to learn from these, namely on both sides.

#319: Feelings with a difference

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In recent months, I learned a lot about the world of my son, but also about my world and the, what is so natural for us.

If one has a child, that perceives the world differently, then one often tries the child “normal” impose world. She now works once out there. So it is less visible and is part of the company. I remember, how many times I've tried mantra, to explain, that certain things have to run once so, how they run. Talk to someone, if you want something or need. Be friendly. No gloves in the summer does not take you to. It is the winter time and it gets cold, you have to put a Unterleiberl.

Überhaupt rede ich sehr viel und erkläre ihm alles, oftmals bis ins kleinste Detail. Wo die Unterschiede liegen zwischen Begriffen, die für ihn qualitativ noch keinen Unterschied erkennen lassen. Als er noch klein war, sagt mir eine Ärztin einmal ich rede zu viel, da er meine Sprache nicht spricht. I think, dass sie recht hatte, was die Sprache betraf, aber nicht mit dem Reden. Als wir in der Soko-Gruppe (Sozialkompetenzgruppe) die Aufgabe bekamen ein Spiel zu spielen, wo es um Gefühle ging, die darzustellen und zu beschreiben sind, war eines offensichtlich. Mein Jr. kann Gefühle großartig und detailliert beschreiben und auch in welchen Situationen sie vorkommen, aber vor allem die negativen Gefühle, wie Ärger, Wut, Zorn sehen für ihn persönlich nicht nur gleich aus, sondern fühlen sich auch gleich an und können nicht differenziert werden. Positive Gefühle werden kaum wahrgenommen, wobei es nicht so ist, dass es diese nicht gibt, aber ich habe manchmal das Gefühl, dass er diesen Gefühlen misstraut und sie nicht greifen und fassen kann.

Als wir uns im Kino “Alles steht Kopf” angesehen haben, hat ihm der Film irrsinnig gut gefallen, es war fast so, als ob ihm ein Licht aufgegangen wäre, es war auch das erste Mal, dass er sich selbst als hauptsächlich “rot” und ab und zu grünen Lichtblitzen beschrieben hat. Wut, Ärger und Zorn werden nach aussen hin sichtbar und erlebbar werden, matter, ob ich jemanden anschreie, etwas kaputtmache oder ihn körperlich “angreife”. Das Spüren der Emotion wird erlebbar. Happiness, Freude und Liebe sind zart, verletzlich und nicht immer greifbar. Deswegen ist es umso schöner, wenn mein Sohn sich auf meinen Schoß setzt und zaghaft seine Hand in Richtung Hals bewegt, um dort liegen zu bleiben. Manchmal wird die Hand auch gedreht, damit jede Seite meine Haut berühren kann.

Heute verstehe ich die Welt anders.

#318: serenity

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Am 13. 02. 2017 habe ich einen ausgezeichneten Radiobeitrag auf Ö1 gehört, der sich mit dem Thema Gelassenheit beschäftigt hat und versucht nicht nur eine Abgrenzung zur Gleichgültigkeit zu skizzieren, sondern auch aufzeigt, wie sehr wir im Heute damit beschäftigt sind, gelassen zu sein. Diese Sehnsucht nach einer anderen Haltung zu sich selbst und zur Welt ist omnipräsent.

In der Philosophie findet sich die Gelassenheit in sich selbst und doch können wir anscheinend viel zu selten darauf zugreifen. Wir sind getrieben, getrieben optimal zu funktionieren und zwar schon lange nicht mehr nur durch unser berufliches Umfeld, sondern vor allem durch äußere Werte, die Menschen wie Ersatzreligionen und Ersatzwerte vor sich hertragen.

Dabei geht es viel mehr um ein Loslassen und ein Emanzipieren von festgefahrenen Bildern und Vorstellungen. Nietzsche sieht in der Gelassenheit die Fähigkeit, dass der Mensch sich selbst Werte setzen kann. Aber wo finden wir unsere Bezugssysteme? Ich habe oftmals das Gefühl, dass kleine Dinge auf einmal wahnsinnig groß werden.

Noch gesünder essen, noch gesünder leben, noch dünner werden. Wir fokussieren uns auf die Kindererziehung und tun noch mehr, besser, gesünder und planen unser Leben rund um die Verwirklichung des optimalen kleinen Menschen. Fürchten uns vor den anderen und folgen Verschwörungstheorien oder nennen sie alternative Realitäten.

Ich mag diesem Denken nicht folgen. Ich kann Heidegger durchaus zustimmen, dass Denken in rechnendes und besinnliches Denken unterteilt werden kann. Während rechnendes Denken von einer Chance zur Nächsten hetzt und nie still steht und sich selbst als auch den Denkenden “ver”waltet, so ist das besinnliche Denken von Reife gekennzeichnet und wesentlich anstrengender. Wir benötigen beide Arten des Denken, damit wir alltagstauglich sind.

Aber ich bemerke, dass ich mich heute ungleich mehr darüber ärgere, dass immer mehr Menschen sich nur mehr im Denken hetzen, als ich es früher getan habe. Werde ich alt? Vielleicht intoleranter?!

Gelassener zu leben ist in einer Gesellschaft, die sich ständig zu optimieren versucht, nicht einfach.

Natürlich will ich gesund leben, aber auch be-sinnlich.
Ich will eine gute Mutter sein und scheitere sowieso schon an meinem eigenen inneren Perfektionismus, daher sich selbst zu besinnen ist wesentlich wichtiger, als dem Mittel der anderen zu folgen.
In der beruflichen Welt will ich mein Bestes geben, ohne Angst und Druck, fast aussichtslos, wenn ich um mich herum schaue.
Und dann ist da noch die Familie und der innere Freundeskreis und ich traue mich zu sagen, dass ich hier gelassen sein kann. Durchaus anstrengend und nie einfach, um dann in seinem Nachdenken für/um/mit sie/ihnen eine Leichtigkeit zu haben, die von Gelassenheit nur so durchströmt ist.

#317: Want a banana?

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Who, I grew up in the 1980s, knows well that song. Want a banana? Na, Na, Na i wü kane …

Bananas are at home also a touchy subject. They symbolize the different world of my son, because he hates bananas. And I hate my. Not do not want, or does not taste, but solely the knowledge, that any of us has attacked a banana, rocked his world. We must not attack him then, yet his stuff and he must see, that we wash with v i e l soap our hands. It's not about the smell or taste – for he has never tasted a banana, rather, it is this furry feeling a peeled banana, which breaks his comfort zone.

Although I do not particularly like to like the feel and texture of peeled banana (therefore I understand this discomfort), I eat them but – especially green – with pleasure, therefore I do not want to pass up. At the beginning I did not understand, what the problem of my Jr. war, because it's just food and can be easily disappear this strange feeling on hands, but for children with a different perception of their environment, which is often much more pronounced, than, what we know as normal langläufig, are material elements, Odors or volumes as huge obstacles, seem hard to overcome.

Therefore the habits of eating are often very limited, to flavors or colors quite well. So my child prefers pasta without sauce or with eggs, although him al Ragu, certainly tastes, but he eats just less, because it is his pleasant.

Much is trying out with the risk of a few smaller or larger explosions, but it brings him and especially me further. I eat my banana secretly or otherwise have always washed and clean hands.

#316: What we do not know anything about autism

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N. is 7 Years old and in his diagnosis is referred to as an autism spectrum disorder with a high performance talent. Autism is in ICD-10 as a pervasive developmental disorder (TOO) described. This developmental disorder relates to the three key areas: social interaction, Communications and field of interest. After the ICD-10 and DSM-IV, these core areas are characterized by mainly qualitative impairments and stereotypical behaviors.

Since this does not of Childhood autism and Asperger's Syndrome differ valid, we took in the DSM-5, the various forms of autism in the multidimensional concept of autism spectrum disorder together. Today significantly more children and adolescents are (1 % opposite to 4 to 5 on 10.000 Children) diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder. However, this is not due to an actual increase in this disorder, but due to the increased perception. So earlier fell many children through the grid, were as talented or as socially not flashy, unlike children with a disability.

It is not easy to explain, on what limits are encountered, if you have a child with autism spectrum disorder. Particularly, if it appears normal to the outside. It does not carry with it Button, where autism draufsteht, and it is thus recognizable for each and every.

Was, when their own experiences and the outside world are not compatible. If build up obstacles in front of a, which are difficult to overcome, or to cope with them outside their experience is, than the I say the rules. It has N. go.

#315: Aspie

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After 3 Months writing abstinence, at least in the own blog, is finding the entrance not so easy. For weeks I wear my blog post around in me and always there is something else, What keeps me from. The most serious was clearly the flu, which caught me with fever, lung problems, Antibiotics and all background noises.

The man / woman with children always somehow in use, is next to the work and study already a challenge in itself, particularly, Should there be any more challenges in the classes of each child. But we cope, howsoever. With the diagnosis of autism spectrum syndrome we got an extension in mastering everyday since last year.

Where we had to cope with everyday life previously, can give the whole thing a name but just now. And this name demystified and creates a distance to the behavior of the Juniors. It used to be said for such children or Asperger Aspies, because autism but long gone corresponds to the classical image of Rain Mans, has become differentiated to a multiple of the bandwidth.

Difficult was and still is for me to accept, that it was not my or. lies, that he is, as it is and I can accompany him, and doing everything to, so he can, how the world works out there.