I recently went to a therapeutic masseuse, which my dear friend S.. was heavily recommended. As it should be for good friends, she kicked my butt hard, that I finally do something. I was hit by a pedestrian car in mid-August.

Even if I digress for a moment, so it's impressive, what a brain and instincts can do. I'm with my Jr. gone across a street (unregulated crossing) and saw a car in the distance with my eye, but far enough away, to get across the street safely. When we were a few steps on the road, I noticed, that the car wasn't really slowing down, but rather constant – probably because the traffic light at the other intersection was green (just a hypothesis or empirical value) – and I raised my right hand to make us more visible. In the next moment I only knew, that I thought to myself, that is no longer possible. And then I must have shown everything at once. Push child aside, because it went exactly on the side the car came from, turn on my side, so that I don't get hit from the front. Felt the car on the left hip, rolled me over on the right side and what was the worst for me, was that I also came up with my head and lay there and was scared, that the car would keep moving.

Of course, the car accident left its mark, not just physically. Concussion does not always make everyday life easy either. It's frustrating, when the simplest words cannot come to mind. Engine Hood! I had to explain to my radiologist at the beginning, where my hip hit. He mean, I shouldn't stress myself, that will be again. The words probably got through to me, But it's still so incredibly so easy to find words, not having a word picture of them.

And then by chance you stand in front of such a hood (I parked on the sidewalk and the car), which has the same trademark emblazoned in front, which was the same color, yelled at me and the only one, what i could do, was to stop. And it is like that, as it is in stories. You hold your breath and it seems, like the world stops and everything around you is focused only on this thing in front of me. And that moment passed just as quickly. I took a deep breath and faced the monster of fear. I became aware, that both I and especially my son were lucky. Everything could have turned out very differently. What are a few words that are missing.

My therapist got it right to the point, it brings me back to the center. Even if she meant my hips first. She is absolutely right. I want to find my center again and that's not that easy, because this center is only vague. It is neither a fixed place nor has an absolute point in my very own system. But at least my hips are aligned. Only my head doesn't always want to be like this, as she or I want, namely to find its centering.